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I remember the thrill of receiving my first credit card "invitation" in the mailbox of my college dormitory. That first credit card application was followed by many more, and I was sure I'd found something better than a college meal card. Shopping was my addiction, but I did not even know I had a problem until it became impossible to pay the minimum balances.
Personal finance 101 was not offered in college. " Frugal " was not in my vocabulary even though I was an English major.
Over the course of the next decade, however, I learned the problem was not the credit card itself, but my reasons for shopping. Once I pinpointed my four motivations for overspending, I was able to get out of debt . I talked myself down from the cliff I'd created with a mountain of credit card bills.
According to the Washington State Department of Finance, 40 percent of Americans believe they are living beyond their means. Here are the four real reasons I became addicted to shopping and how I stopped overspending:
I wanted to improve myself
I used to rationalize my overspending by telling myself it was for my own self improvement. In reality, it was just vanity. I thought I could be more professional looking or attractive in a certain outfit. Now I think about more concrete and free ways to improve my professional skills such as reading or watching educational programs.
I wanted to improve my relationships
During my shopaholic years, I'd spend more than I had to make people like me. Whether it was buying toys for my children or gifts for friends, I thought swiping a credit card was a great way to show someone you cared. Now I spend time doing a lot of free activities with the people I care about. Many of my friends like to just talk or have someone to listen. I find inexpensive ways to help friends in need.
I wanted to feel young
As grew closer to 30, I still wanted to feel 19 so I spent money on adventures and trips. Even though I am experiencing more of a mid-life crisis after turning 40, I don't use that as an excuse to overspend. Now I'm open and honest about my mid-life crisis. I simply find inexpensive and free ways to satisfy that natural desire to regain one's youth.
I wanted life to be easier
Just like the cavemen, I have a perfectly normal desire to have an easier life. I was quick to spend thousands of dollars on a new laptop in my twenties. I told myself I could be more effective if I spent money on the latest gadgets. Now I admit to myself that life isn't easier when you have piles of credit card bills. I tried a cash-only experiment for a week and found it refreshing and simple to deal only in cash.
I'm no longer addicted to buying things. I'm still tempted to give into the urge to overspend at times, but I've learned I can get what I really want without spending a dime.
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